Saas-Bahu : Beyond the idiot box

Tulsi and her army of Bahu’s rule the roost on telly. Tulsi, who was a one time ideal Bahu and today is a caring Saas to “N” number of Bahu’s. But now, not every Bahu or Saas is like Tulsi in real life?

So, should a Bahu (Daughter-in-Law) be treated like a daughter? This is a the topic which has been discussed over the ages by different people debating, for and against it. Some libral minded people support the Brides while the other traditionalists/conservatives lend their shoulder to support the Saasu Ma.

“What does the Saas (Mother in Law) get being so cruel? ponder’s her new daughter in law, while the MIL (short for Mom in Law) yaks to her friends about how liberal the new DIL (short for Daughter in Law) is and how much dowry she bought with her?

First lets see the what the new bride feels:-

I wonder what is with the dowry system in India. If a guy likes a girl and wants to marry her, why do the parents always have to make a deal with girls parents.Can’t they just accept the girl for who she really is what she means to their son.Or like in most cases where families consider money to be above everything else in the world.The whole family of the groom decides to torture or harass the girl till the parents give in or the girl herself commits suicide.To such families, money/wealth is even greater than God, whom these sick people do not fear when killing their Daughter in Law.

In most cases, girls from the grooms family like the sisters are not far behind in torturing their Bhabhi, they too are involved in the torture and killing of the bride. Being an educated Indian with moderate views I would like to ask these Mothers in Law and Sisters in Law a few questions, why can’t the daughter in law be like a daughter to you, why does the girl who is bringing in as much dowry as her parents could afford, leaving all her memories and bonds behind, who is already scared entering a new household, does she really need to be tortured anymore?

This is the same girl who is going to start a family with your son/brother giving everyone a new new positions in the family namely Saasu Ma, Nanad, etc and who will bring more joy to the house hold when she delivers her babies, graduating you all to new levels of relationships like Father,Grandmother,Grandfather,Aunt ,Uncle, etc. Does this all sacrificing woman deserve to be burnt aiive?

Every mother today needs to put herself in the shoes of the bride and think for once that IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO HER TOO (when she got married) or atleast remember THAT THEY TOO HAVE DAUGHTERS, IF NOT THEN SOMEDAY THEY MIGHT FALL IN THIS SITUATION, BECAUSE…AS YOU SOW, SO YOU REAP!

The system of dowry started by kings thousands of years ago was popular since the kings could afford to give whatever they wanted to their daughters, but what about the common man earning a small salary, feeding his own family first and then his daughter’s.

I have a suggestion fo such sick families who have appetite of a dianosaur…you want to sell your son in return of dowry then go, sell him to the highest bidder in the market or find someone you think will be able to satisfy your hunger for money i.e. from rich or upper class, DO NOT MAKE A POOR MAN MORE POOR AND MISERABLE !

The system of dowry is like a contagious disease which spreads from family to family thereby giving a rise to problems like famle foeticide. Owing to social evils like dowry, girls, are considered be a liability for families and that day is not far when girls will completely vanish from the face of this country, which is proudly called BHARAT MATA and where people worship GODDESS DURGA & KALI.

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Now, lets analyze life from the other side of the river…I mean from the In-Laws point of view

Girls of today can no longer be subdued by the parents or the in-laws. Today’s girls are liberal in the views, are well educated, and understand that they can stand next to men in any field they want to and do well and even better than them. The CBSE results in the last decade show the increase in education amongst the females and its effects.Girls are doing better than boys, they represent the NEW INDIA.

NEW INDIA???

It is the same old India just the torturer became the torturee (you get the point).

The nuclear family system has seen a steep rise in the last few years. Couples who want independence, rather than trying to find themselves a new home, find shelters and old-age homes for parents to shift base.The Bahu no longer prefers to give Saasu Ma company at the temple she’d rather go and share a glass of wine with her friends at the kitty party and gossip.

She feels a class apart, knowing her husband is the sole earner and she has the right to humiliate her old in-laws.And the husband knowing whatever is happening does’nt speak a word against it fearing backlash from his well-educated and stylish wife.Afterall he has to stay with the wife for much longer than the parents, who will probably die in a few years time.

After all he has to stay with the wife for much longer than the parents, who will die in a few years time!!!

The same parents who brought him in this world,raised him and made him whatever he is today…hell they even got him married to this woman who means more to him than the parents.

The young women generally prefer a partner who does not curtail her independence, gives her the liberty to do whatever she wants, gives her the respect that she deserves and repect her parents like he respects his own…perfectly normal for a person to think that way, but then the situation begs a question and that is…why doesn’t she respect and take care of the old parents of her husband when she expects the same from her partner?If a new bride expects her parents-in-law to treat her like their own daughter, why cant the she respect them like her own parents!

uch things make me wonder where India is heading to and sing these lines from the movie Nastik (1954) -

Dekh tere sansar ki haalat kya ho gayi bhagwan,

Kitna badal gaya insaan (2)

Probably Ekta Kapoor’s Saas-Bahu’s will see the end of the road sometime in the near future, but the Saas-Bahu saga shall continue beyond the idiot box in the real world…for how long??? Only God knows !

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